Cubicles & Christ: In Pursuit of Spiritual Authenticity Podcast Artwork Image
Cubicles & Christ: In Pursuit of Spiritual Authenticity
Obedience Series, Part I: Blocking Your Blessings
June 18, 2018 Cubicles & Christ with Kelley Johnson

Obedience Series, Part I: Blocking Your Blessings

Cubicles & Christ with Kelley Johnson

Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. Isaiah 43:19

In part one of the Obedience Series, Felicia Guinn shares some very raw and real life experiences that taught her the power of obedience. Professionally, Felicia is a Registered Nurse and works as a Senior Project Delivery Specialist for Blue Cross Blue Shield, but this woman of God has a prescription for spiritual growth that you don't want to miss! 

Keep the conversation going...come over to the Cubicles & Christ Community - our private FaceBook group by clicking here. 

Thanks for listening! Connect with Kelley on FaceBook or  Instagram

Note: Show notes may contain affiliate links.

Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. Isaiah 43:19

In part one of the Obedience Series, Felicia Guinn shares some very raw and real life experiences that taught her the power of obedience. Professionally, Felicia is a Registered Nurse and works as a Senior Project Delivery Specialist for Blue Cross Blue Shield, but this woman of God has a prescription for spiritual growth that you don't want to miss! 

Keep the conversation going...come over to the Cubicles & Christ Community - our private FaceBook group by clicking here. 

Thanks for listening! Connect with Kelley on FaceBook or  Instagram

Note: Show notes may contain affiliate links.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1:0:05Hello and welcome to keep a course and Christ Kelly Johnson, certified leadership coach and founder of be well. My soul is on a mission to encourage and inspire you to be spiritually authentic and thrive in life. Let's join the conversation with Kelly now

Speaker 2:0:23them two cubicles in Christ. If you haven't joined my private facebook page, that cubicles and Christ community, I just want to invite you personally to join me and so many other likeminded believers. We have lunchtime prayer periodically and it's just a great place to hang out and get some encouragement and connect with other believers. So join me and all of my friends and fans of the cubicles and Christ podcast show over on Facebook, cubicles and Christ community. Today we're going to have a great conversation with Felicia Gwyn. Felicia is a wife, a mom, and she is a registered nurse by background and today she works for Blue Cross Blue Shield. As a senior project delivery specialist. I had an opportunity to touch base and catch up with Felicia one day and she has such an amazing story about being authentic spiritually and it's connection to obedience. So Felicia, thank you so much for being on the show today.

Speaker 3:1:29Thank you for having me.

Speaker 2:1:31I'm excited about this conversation. It really ties into actually a thrive series devotional that was released. Uh, the title of that one is your wilderness is temporary and on that devotional episode I talk about how we all go through difficult, painful seasons in our life and I believe that there's a couple of ways that we can sort of hopefully minimize the length or the duration of those wilderness seasons. And for me personally in my own walk, obedience has been a big part of that. And so I really connected with your story that you shared with me, Felicia. But let's get started. I want to talk a little bit, what are your thoughts about spiritual authenticity? What does that mean to you? Why is it important?

Speaker 3:2:19I think it's important because being authentic, you, you establish a relationship. I'm with God personally for yourself. And in order to do that you have to be authentic. And I think for me personally, I struggle with that because I struggle with just being my authentic self growing up. I think I knew I wasn't, that the popular one, I wasn't the pretty one, the smart one, and so the only way that I knew, um, can be accepted was to do what I thought others wanted me to do. So not being authentic didn't allow me to have an authentic relationship with God and there was no way, for lack of a better term, I was a people pleaser. I wanted to make sure that I was accepted by people and so how dare me put a priority pleading people and doing what people wanted me to do and not put that priority on pleading God and doing what God wanted me to do. Um, so I struggled with that. So I think it's important, um, that first you buy vintage self so that you can be genuine and have an authentic relationship with God.

Speaker 2:3:34Wow. Thank you for sharing that. And I think all of us to a degree are people pleasers. All of us. Maybe some to a greater degree than others, but how, what was your journey like? How did you even first recognize that your desire to please others was getting in the way of your relationship with the Lord and how did you overcome that?

Speaker 3:3:59I kind of knew all along at a child, but I didn't really. I don't think I recognized that and being a people pleaser, I thought I was just being obedient to what my parents wanted me to do, but I didn't really have a voice in anything. I didn't, I didn't really speak up for myself. I didn't really just basically stand on my own principles so I was able to kind of sweep it under the rug as a child because I'm, I thought it was just being obedient to my parents. But then as I became an adult, my actually my first marriage I think was my first, um, true revelation that I wasn't being authentic because I initially as I became pregnant with my daughter out of wedlock and I knew that was a big disappointment to my parents and specifically my father. And so I knew the expectation from my parents was that I needed to marry the man and now I was having a child with and I, I didn't want to be with this person.

Speaker 3:5:04I knew this wasn't the person that God would have me to be with. I knew it wouldn't be a healthy marriage, but I went through with it anyway because I knew that that's what my parents expect it. I knew that that's what are my family expected. I knew that's what society expected. So I went along with that, um, and it wasn't till I was about two years into that marriage that I really realize, I was like, oh my goodness, what have I done? I've, I've taken available for a guide to do something that I didn't. It wasn't what I wanted to do. It wasn't what he had ordained to be done. And so I think that was my first revelation. It wasn't a healthy marriage and I couldn't understand why this marriage wasn't bing. And it wasn't until I had that revelation to realize that this was not a marriage that was, was ordained by God.

Speaker 2:5:53Wow. Because you were married for a while, how did you go through that?

Speaker 3:6:02That's a difficult conversation to have because I'm one I needed to go. It wasn't a healthy marriage, but there wasn't any specific problems per se that would lead to ending the marriage, so I had to have that. First. I had to accept it for myself because I think a big fear that I had again, because society has put a stigma on being divorced a long time, just kept just dealing with it and staying in this marriage because I didn't want to be a divorced single mom, but once I came to that revelation at first had to accept it for myself. Then I had to have a conversation with my then husband at the time and then I had to have a conversation with my parents and I think out of all of that it was the most difficult conversation was with my parents because I felt like I was letting them down. That I wasn't. That I knew this is what they wanted, this is what they expected and yet I had to come to them, but the first time and have my voice and say this is not, I have the end this. And so I think that was the moment that I'd actually changed for me and realized that I needed to begin to, to be authentic because I could, I couldn't have a relationship with God and in the way that I was going,

Speaker 2:7:19wow, I just want to celebrate your strength and um, you and your courage for sharing this with everyone today because I think it's very common or us women to stay in situations that are maybe not the best for us, for a number of reasons. And I talk about periodically those of us who have sort of a timeline on our life. Like I should be married by a certain time. I should have a child by a certain time. I should be ready to retire by a certain time. Whatever those milestones are, it's very easy for us to sort of get caught up in what we think should happen in when we think it should happen, so it takes a lot of courage and strength and reliance on the Lord too, break out of those expectations that are either put on us or we put on ourselves. And so I just want to celebrate you today and I know that you've obviously grown tremendously from that season in your life, but I just appreciate you sharing it today.

Speaker 3:8:25Absolutely. I will say that that was the turning point, but it, it definitely was still a long journey after that because I, I think I still carried that baggage with me from that marriage that it's still affected me going further after that. So it was definitely a journey, but it was God's grace that I even continue to because there were so many times that I wanted to backpedal and say, okay. No, no, no, no. Let me just, uh, no. Let me just go back to way it was everybody will be happy because I just felt like I just had disappointed so many people. And let so many people down so you have to stay in constant prayer and asking for strength and guidance because it's not easy.

Speaker 2:9:06Well, I'm reminded when you just said there were temptations to sort of backpedal. I think about lot's wife in the Bible and dot warned them both and obviously his family that was with him when they were allowed to leave Sodom and Gomorrah before God destroyed it. He said, do not look back and you know, she turned into a pillar of salt, I think is what it was because she did look back, but everybody else kept looking forward and I think that's such a powerful metaphor to what can happen when we look back on situations that we know are toxic. Situations that we know are not good. Not saying we shouldn't ever sort of reminisce or think about the past, but when we're tempted to go back to what is not good for us, it can potentially lead to some serious consequences

Speaker 3:10:02and it's so easy to do because it's just the fear of the unknown moving forward sometimes can paralyze you from moving forward. So it's just more comfortable to stay here. I know it's not good, but I know what's in front of me. That was just easier to look back because I already know what's back there and I can just settle into that and deal with it.

Speaker 2:10:25Wow. I'm even thinking about situations in my life where things were good. So we moved on as a family and we made a different decision in our life from things that we're good. Okay. Um, we had a. I'm thinking about our old house, so we moved, we moved from our, from a house that we ran for many, many years and lots of memories in that house. We moved about four years ago and sometimes I think about wanting to go back to that house that how sort of symbolizes so many memories and life was good, life was comfortable and I think I've sort of associated moving with change and difficulties and so even as I'm listening to you, I'm associating that and connecting it with my own current life and how even sometimes we can look back on good seasons and not be willing to go through new chapters because it's uncomfortable. So I think I think it can go either way. It's not just about looking back on negative things or are unhealthy things. It's also even looking back on seasons in our life where we were really comfortable. Life was really easy and now that we're in a new chapter, it's like, Ooh, this is a lot harder than what I just left. Absolutely.

Speaker 2:11:51It's even that verse in. I think we're through Isaiah. God says, behold, I'm doing a new thing. Do you see it now? It springs forth, you know, God does new things in our lives, but just because it's new doesn't mean it's going to be easy.

Speaker 3:12:08Exactly.

Speaker 2:12:10So let's talk a little bit about, in a conversation that you and I were having at an event you were sharing with me just one of your testimonies and it was linked to obedience, but I think you later shared with me how it really stemmed from authenticity. So, and you kind of bring everybody up to speed on what that testimony is and how is it linked to spiritual authenticity?

Speaker 3:12:43Divorced. Never married again because it just was too traumatic and I didn't want that stigma associated was bad enough that I was divorced. Now once you've potentially got married again, I didn't want that. There was a risk that I could be divorced a second time and I certainly didn't want that. So I vowed that I would never marry again. But I did. I was dating, dating. I was dating who is now my husband and we dated for 14 years. Um, because again, I vowed that I just wouldn't married. Well, he, um, at the time was working, had accepted a position with pilot truck stops as a general manager and they relocated them here to Texas and I was still in Kansas City. I came two years later, um, again, we weren't married, but we moved in together. We lived together and he asked for whatever reason he was, and I don't want to tell too much of his story, but, but part of his story just helps shows the awesomeness of God to the job that he was working as a general manager.

Speaker 3:13:54He continuously bumped heads with the regional manager and so things finally came to a head. The regional manager came in one day to his door and basically sat him down and told him, you're the absolute worst manager in my district and I would like to ask you to either resign so that we don't have to fire you. So I was working. I had started a new job and I was working in corporate America, still has a nurse but a corporate nurse. So I had a decent salary. He was working as a general manager and he had a decent salary. Then all of a sudden he, it takes him. He resigned and takes a small package. Um, and we're really down to just a, my income. But we did the numbers financially. I was still able to sustain the household according to putting the numbers on paper, so he decided he wanted to start his own business and that was fine because like I said, I could sustain the household, so for whatever reason, not for whatever reason, I know the but I did not meet, are in, just did not meet, but in the meantime, born and raised and, and my mother and father had me in church all my life.

Speaker 3:15:01I did. I was going through the motion and I knew that once I moved here, I needed to find a church in essay going through the motion because I still hadn't really begun. Um, I, I started working on my own personal identity, but I still didn't have that authentic relationship with God. But I was going through the motion and part of that meant I needed to find a church home. So we moved here. I moved here to Texas. We were living together. We started, we started searching for a church. We found a church and the church that I belonged to him now, we visited a couple times and then we went to Bible study. And we really liked what we saw, we decided we wanted to go up and meet the pastor of the church. We went up and introduced ourselves. He welcomed us and he's like, great, welcome to Texas. How long have you guys been married? Um, and we said, well, we're not. And he said, uh, will be you live in the same household. And we said yes. And then he said, why are you sleeping in the same bed?

Speaker 4:15:56Of course we were both taken back and we've kind of looked at each other and then look at the pastor and Kinda,

Speaker 3:16:08you know. Yes. And his response was, will you do realize you're living outside of God's will and you're missing out on blessings for how you're living? And he said, make an appointment with my secretary and come in and talk to me so I can tell you more about it. So we both left and of course, of course we were offended because how dare he, this man that doesn't even know us. And we were thinking about joining the church. And the first thing you do is tell us that we're disobeying God and we're missing out on blessing. Needless to say, you know, we, we soaked in our feelings and, and went on and, and I thought, okay, well this is not the church for us. We're not going there. Somebody is going to judge me in that manner. I'm not, I'm not going there. Well, a couple of weeks went by and we received a call from his administrative assistant and said, Hey, I'm pastor. Reach out to to me to let me know that he was waiting to hear from you guys for a meeting. And I'm lucky to know when you plan to have this meeting. And I thought, okay, well let's just have a meeting and go up there and talk to him and get this over with. I'm not going to charge

Speaker 3:17:14truly, truly offended. Not realizing that he, the pastor was doing what God ordained him to do. He, as opposed to lead souls to Christ. And when he saw that there was something that was out of line that that was his job to do that. But I think recognize that, um, and so we went to the meeting again, just they're at a duty not really to receive anything just so I can check it off and he can get off our case and we can move on

Speaker 4:17:44how it happened.

Speaker 3:17:45We had the meeting and he was able, he pulled out the Bible, he backed up everything. He said scripture and I just. And, and I think at that moment it really hit me that I am living. I'm sorry. And I had to make a change. And so we went home. We talked about it, I called backup there and two weeks later, just on a random Saturday morning, we went in and he married us. Now let me backtrack. When I talk about obedience, it wasn't so much, I don't think that I recognized it as obedience, but I recognize that I was doing something that wasn't right and I needed to rectify that. But I was carrying this baggage that it was a fear of commitment and I can only control me until I couldn't control what he did. He be my husband. Now I couldn't control it.

Speaker 3:18:50So therefore, if he didn't act right that it was, if I wasn't married to him, it was very easy for me to just pick up and go, and that was, that was what I was focused on. But after what, what, what, what? Our pastor was able to actually feed into us and will help us to understand how, um, what God. This is not how God intended for man and woman to live. You have to do something different. So now fast forward to my husband. I'm not having a job and you wanted to start his own business. So as I stated that financially, when I put the numbers on paper, there shouldn't have been any reason that are around. We weren't able to make engineered, but we, we were struggling. He wrote down, my husband made out a thousand. We went and purchased a thousand business cards or postcards for his business, for him to mail out.

Speaker 3:19:42He did those by hand and sent those out to solicit business. We did not receive one response. So needless to say, he was discouraged. I couldn't understand what was going on. We were just, our prayer life wasn't where it should be. We were just couldn't understand. I can't put the timeframe around it, but I can tell you is after that Saturday when we got married, it wasn't long after that that he received a phone call from the same manager, a district manager that told him he was the absolute worst manager ever. He called him, called my husband and said, hey, I got this little small job I'd like for you to come and do talk about God making your enemy your footstool. To this day, pilot truck stop is one of my husband's largest clients in. It all started from a man that fired him and told him he was the absolute worst

Speaker 3:20:50on my job. I had only been on my job for three months. No, I'm sorry. I'm eight months after we got married. My manager came to me instead. Hey, we have a managers by open up and we would like to groom you and put you in that spot and I feel well know I've only been with the company for. I haven't done the policy at the time. Was that you needed to be in your position for one year before you moved to a different position or promotion, and I said, well, hey, I haven't been with the company eight months. This is my hire date. She goes, no, I already know that. I've already checked on that. She goes in, I already have a business case plan that I'm going to give to human resources. We need to move you into this position prematurely. Within a short timeframe of us getting married and getting in line with God. My husband began to receive and I was promoted. No, it was promoted to that position and not at six months later they came into my office and say, we have a senior manager position that we really think that you're perfect for, and I and I gave the same story. I said, well, I've only been in this position for six mafia. We know that. Well, we have another business case that we're prepared to give to human resources to show why we can put you in this position. Now. That was promoted again.

Speaker 3:22:08So again, look at God work. So before I couldn't, we could not make ends meet, we got in line with God and all of a sudden my business, my husband's business flourish and I'm promoted twice within two years.

Speaker 2:22:21Wow. Wow. Wow. I just, I just want to like shout with excitement because I'd love it. I love how God works and he is so faithful. Thanks.

Speaker 3:22:37Great. And you just, you know, sometimes you have to. Faith requires work and you know, you can't. When you, when you're going through, it's so easy to. So you have your actions are consistent with that. And part of what I do when I was struggling with making ends meet, I tried to find ways that I could on my own again, trying to find ways that I could make ends meet. And one of the ways I did that is I stopped paying ties. I was like, okay, well the money that I'm paying on time, I could pay it to have that three of our household bills. Mm. I even did that. And, and that realize that I'm going in the wrong direction. I'm not, not, not still not lining up with what the word is, and so again, once, once we got married and then I said, okay, you know, we need to, we really need to, um, and, and our pastor is very big on obedience and hiding.

Speaker 3:23:38So we heard that when we became members of the church and we realized we need to get back on with hiding now for my husband, we still had a struggle because he was self employed and the money that he made, we wanted to put it back into the business. We wanted to try to help grow the business. So he's like, okay, well you don't tie the night and I'll just die. That's not how it works. And so we said, no, we both need to try. And so we both began to pass and that just his business grew even more and it just, it's, it's just unbelievable how have you're just true to God's word how faithful he will be to what he says.

Speaker 2:24:20Yes, indeed. In a minute I'm going to ask you to maybe share any advice. Are those who might be listening of, you know, sort of how do you take those first steps because I agree that faith requires work and I was just having a, a very similar conversation with a girlfriend the other day and she was at a very low point and talking about how all the things that she had I've been doing to try to resolve the situation in and I was listening and I was soaking it in and she was like, you know, I've done this and I've done that and I've done this. And as I was listening to her, I became very thankful for my own struggles because I was once last year in 2017, I was in a season where I was listening to God all the things that I had done. I was doing this Lord, I'm doing that, I'm doing this as if he couldn't see it, right. Um, and I'm listing all the things that I'm doing and the situation wasn't getting better. And that's when he told me, you never started that podcast I told you about.

Speaker 2:25:35I was like, ouch. Okay. And I've shared this story before on the show, but I keep coming back to it because I have seen this happen in other people's lives, not just mine, but we, we do all that we know to do and we should, you know, faith is not lazy and faith doesn't sit on the couch and just sort of expect the Lord to move. And we're eating bon bons and ice cream. Right? But there is a balance point. There is a hinge point where, yes, we're supposed to do what we can do, but we're not supposed to rely on ourselves. We're not supposed to put our trust. What we can do. And it's a very delicate balance. I believe between doing all you should do, without trusting in all that you should do, thinking that you can make it happen on your own when some situations, all situations really it all has to come from the Lord. When we lose that perspective, then I think that's where we can get into some even more difficult, more challenging. So I want to sort of pause and give you an opportunity. What advice would you give for someone who's struggling right now? Someone who is like, I'm doing all I can do or I don't know. I just, I believe that God has something for you to share and I want to make sure that you have a space to do that.

Speaker 3:27:04I feel like you need to invite God into your situation. So many times we want to go through whatever it is we go through where we want to. It may not be a trial, but just something that you want to step out and do. We come up with the blueprint. We come up with the plan and then we want God to bless it and that's not the way that we should do it. We need to invite God first. God opened my eyes that I can open my ears, that I may hear from you clearly how you want me to move, and if it's a metric going through God. This is a difficult season for me right now, but I need your help. Help me understand how to navigate through this season that I've never been through before and it's not. It's not a one time thing.

Speaker 3:27:46It's not a one and done. You don't ask God for that and then, okay, all right. I've already talked to Ed thing daily. We forget that we forget every single day. It's going to be a struggle because when it's hard and you feel like you're out there and you've done all that, you can do. When you're doing this and you say you want to list it out, I'm doing all these things and it's still not working every single day, multiple times throughout the day. You have to stay in communication with that because it's so easy. The enemy is so easy to come in and have this chatter in your ears say, see, I told you you're you. You're doing what? You're doing all this and guys stilling moved the feed. There's a time and a season when God wants things to happen. The weight, his plan is not our plan or our plan needs to be consistent.

Speaker 3:28:36We need to ask God, God, what is the plan for me? And I think that's where we really fail and I still struggle with that because we get impatient. We wanted to happen on our timeline and when it doesn't, we feel like God's not moving, but what we don't realize is that God, first of all already has this worked out and Keith grooming us for something that we have no idea what he's grooming us for and in order he can't give us that blessing until we get through what it is and learn what it is that he has for us to learn and, and I think that's the hard part, to sit in that pocket and accept that because you don't see any action or you don't have anything, don't think was not working. He's working. And I think, I think that would be the one thing that I would share is just to stay in constant communication and constantly asked for his wisdom, his knowledge, his guide. You give you guidance and okay. Because, because, because every day you want to, okay, that's it. I'm done. Because you know, God is obviously not here. My prayer. So I'm, I'm, I'm done. It's so easy to throw our hands up because that's just the enemy. And so to combat that, I think we just have to really say, keep our walk with God.

Speaker 2:29:52Yes, I'm reminded of that verse, that when we are at our weakest, that's when God's strength becomes even more evident. And I'm paraphrasing that verse. I'll have to find the exact scripture in a moment, but I'm also thinking about how when it's not God's time, we can see obstacles. I'm taking your promotion as an example, so you were not within the HR policy of the timeframe for when you could get promoted. Right?

Speaker 3:30:22[inaudible].

Speaker 2:30:24Yet when it's God's time and when we're obedient and we're in his will, God will move policies. He will make a way. Right?

Speaker 3:30:36Absolutely.

Speaker 2:30:38He will have people. Your manager came to you saying, I'm going to put together a business case to allow an exception to the HR policy.

Speaker 3:30:47[inaudible]

Speaker 2:30:48that's, I want to say that's crazy. But what I mean is that is so amazing because some managers will be like, well, why don't you go ahead and write the business case, right? Like if it's something that we're trying to do on our own, the manager would tell us, well, why don't you write your business case for your promotion? Okay,

Speaker 3:31:08add to that is that when God does reveal [inaudible] and it does give you the answer, the answer that you had planned out on your blueprint, you have to be disciplined enough to accept it and move forward. This is the plan that God has for you and I'd like to share an example of that. So fast forward, I accepted this division as and of course the higher you move up the chain, the more responsibility you have in. So I'm in that position. It became really stressful position and it was to the point where I was working almost 16 hours a day. I was working on the weekends. I was missing church to do work and, and I start realizing this is not healthy and this, this can't be what God would have me to do, but I felt I felt guilty, I think, for lack of a better word because I'm like, oh my goodness, how dare I complain about something that God has blessed me with.

Speaker 3:32:08But I do believe that every blessing that there is a season for every blessing. So I began to go to God in prayer. God, I'm thankful for the staff that you've given me. Um, but it's not healthy right now for me. It's not healthy for my family. I'm doing things I think that are outside. I'm at church. I had begun to join different ministries and I stepped down off of those ministries. I was on the stamps ministry. I stepped away from that because I couldn't make practice because I needed to work. Um, I was on the health ministry, has stepped away from that because I couldn't be there on Saturday, Sunday. Not that I couldn't, I chose not to because I needed to get work done. So I went to God in prayer and I thank God, you know, I'm thankful because I know this was, this, this position was granted to me through you, but I know that you wouldn't have any live this way and stress.

Speaker 3:32:56So God, I'm asking for deliverance right now from this position of, of stress that I'm in. I didn't know what that looked like. Um, at the time, of course I thought meant leaving the company. Um, but I asked for. I asked for that. So I started looking for other positions outside of the company because there wasn't anything internally. So I started looking outside the company and really wasn't, um, you know, getting much, getting any call backs. Um, and then I got one call back from Blue Cross Blue Shield where I am now. I got a call back, uh, for a position and it was $20,000 less than the salary that I was making where I was. And so I would say, really, God,

Speaker 4:33:42are you serious? This is what you want me to do.

Speaker 3:33:44You want me to. I've been working, I've been working hard. I go back to school. I get advanced degrees and this is what you, I worked this hard for me to take this many steps back again, equating successful what society has put, um, success on and that's titles and income and things of that nature. So I told Blue Cross blue shield no as like, I'm sorry I can't, I can't take that much of a decrease. So I'm still looking for a job. I go back to God if I got, why aren't you helping me? Why aren't you answering me? I'm missing church. Why aren't you helping me? They Call Blue Cross, called me back a second time. Few weeks later, got a second callback. They said, would you reconsider for this? I'm like, no. They negotiated a little bit broad, brought the, decreased up a little bit, but it still didn't even meet me where I was like, no, absolutely not. I'm offended. I'm, I'm full of myself at this point. I'm assuming, are you kidding? You think of it. Take that kind of decreased again, that go to God in prayer and finally, unlike. Yeah, I say this to me, I'm answering your prayer.

Speaker 4:34:51You keep turning it away. Blue Cross called me a third time. Wow.

Speaker 3:34:58A little bit more, but they still, I still was taken a decrease from there. And I said, okay, God, if this is what you would have me to do, I'm going to do it and I'm going to admit I was, you know, my pride was hurt because I thought really is this the best that I can deal with? I have to take a decrease. Okay, well I'm gonna do it. So I had to be really careful when I started this new position because it was so easy to come in with a chip on my shoulder because I knew that I was already coming in making less money and I felt that that was um, I don't know, I don't know the right word, but I just felt like that was an insult to me. And so I had to be prayerful to, to be humbled, to be thankful for the position and come in and do the best at this position.

Speaker 3:35:43And then somebody sees something with them, me and possibly move up. So fast forward to current day. Of course, my stress level, um, because my level of responsibility change, so my stress level came down immensely and then something that I had been working on on the side, I wasn't able to get it go through. And finally I was able to meet again, go through and I began to receive income from that avenue and to this day taking a decrease in salary and what, um, the other avenue that I sought out because they came through, I'm bringing home more now than what I did in that other position again.

Speaker 3:36:29So I asked God to put me in a position to help real takeaway distress, tedious. I didn't know that it was going to come package $20,000 less than what I was making. And so I felt. And then I was embarrassed. I was embarrassed for doubting God. I was embarrassed for questioning God I was embarrassed for. And I had to go to God and ask for forgiveness. Yeah. And it's so easy to do that because we can only see. We have tunnel vision. We only see what's right there in front of us. We have no idea what God has in store for us, so that's why when I say be willing, when God answers, be willing to accept what the answer is, even if it doesn't come wrapped with a pretty bow on top like we think it should or if it doesn't match what we've laid out in our three, five year plan for ourselves. If it doesn't line up with that, if it's from God, be willing to accept it and move forward in it.

Speaker 2:37:23Hey Man. Hey Man. Whew. I'm so glad you shared that and you're right because that's the whole beauty and delicate balance. I keep saying that, but faith is interesting. I can't think of a good word for it right now, but when we take the step in the direction that God is telling us to, a lot of people will be like, step out on faith. Wait, I'm not talking about random step out and be bold. I'm talking about when you know what God has brought you to or what God is asking you to do when you're certain about that, but when we're afraid to take that initial step, we have no idea what we're blocking because you know, because the other income opportunity that you refer to God knew that that was coming, right. He knew that that was around the corner and that it would meet up and coincide at the appointed time.

Speaker 2:38:27You know, there are divine assignments and if we are not in position through obedience, then we miss. And so I just love how you have shared so much today and given so many testimonies of God's faithfulness when we're obedient and I really feel like the Lord is using this show to bring up obedience. Um, you know, the thrive series devotional that I talked about, your, your wilderness is temporary. It's about obedience. I knew that you were coming on the show and I knew we would talk about obedience and I believe there's another person coming on the show and a few weeks who will also be talking about obedience. And so just really want to encourage everyone to tune in, listen to what the Holy Spirit is saying to you. I'm an act on it and I know that it can be scary sometimes, but it is so worth it. We have no idea what's on the other side. We have no idea what God has intended for us except his war. Promises that his plans are for our good. Jeremiah 29 slash 11. Everybody loves that verse. I know the plans that I have for you, plans to prosper you, to give you a hope and a future. Hold onto that burst and act like you mean it.

Speaker 2:39:52Okay, we're going to pray and get ready to close out. And Felicia, if there's anything else that you want to share in a moment, we can feel free to do that, but I would love for you to just join your faith with my faith as we go into prayer. Gracious and heavenly father, Lord, we just exalt your name, Lord. We praise your name forever. We give you glory and honor and we thank you for your faithfulness. Lord, we thank you that your word is true. We thank you that your word is yes and a man. Lord, help us as we pick up our cross daily and follow you or give us the strength that we need to endure to persevere, to push through your word says that we gain endurance. We gained character through the circumstances and the situations that we go through. Help us to embrace them and stop fighting against what you're trying to do in our life today.

Speaker 2:40:46Lord God, I pray and ask for wisdom and discernment to know your will. Father, will you open our spiritual eyes and will you help us to see transform the way we think about situations and help us Lord, to get in line with the way that you see things, we love you and we praise you. Father and we just give you glory for the great things that you have in store for us, fathering and Lord, we acknowledge that we're not. We're not talking about the material and physical things. Lord, help us to prioritize our relationship with you. Your word says that if we seek first your kingdom and your righteousness, that everything else will be added onto us. Help us to prioritize you, help us to prioritize our love relationship for you and Lord, if there's any area in our life where we are outside your will, where we are not walking in obedience, I pray that you reveal it to us and then Lord, I pray in advanced at your grace and your mercy and your strength will allow us, will enable us to be obedient to what you're asking us to do. We love you and we thank you. In Jesus' name, Amen. Amen.

Speaker 2:41:59Felicia, you have just been such a blessing to me personally and I know that you will be a blessing to others. I want to again just thank you for your bravery to share your story and your testimony. Before we get ready to wrap up, is there anything that you want to share?

Speaker 3:42:13I think we all struggle. We all will have trials that we go through each trial and each struggle then uniquely designed by God for us, and it's twofold because it's one to help us to grow beyond that. It's to to to equip you with what you need to be able to help someone else when they be walking through a similar storm. So I think that's really what we also should focus on is that once we get on the other side of whatever I struggle might be put a handout to help someone because God is now equipped you with. You know how to move through that situation because you've moved through that in somebody who's going through something similar, pay it back in and give them that same strength that it took for you to get through it. Help them get through it. So I think that if we realize that we can really begin to help lift each other up and help us get through those low points.

Speaker 2:43:11Hey Man. Oh, I agree with that so much and I believe when we go through very, very difficult situations or seasons and we come through, I believe that it is uniquely tied to our purpose and how we can support other believers.

Speaker 3:43:28Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2:43:30So I'm so glad you said that and it's hard. So when you're in the darkest valley at the lowest point, it's hard to think about how you're going to help others.

Speaker 4:43:41All you know is you want out of it at the time, whatever that is, just deliver me from this side.

Speaker 2:43:49No, I know. So I just want to be sensitive to that because I've been there, done that and I'll probably will be there again. You know, even once we get up on the mountain top, just know that there are peaks and valleys in our life and it is cyclical, so just try to have some courage and some hope that there is a purpose in whatever you're going through, so

Speaker 3:44:12absolutely.

Speaker 2:44:13Stay faithful, stake plugged into the word of God. Pray always, and try to be thankful even in your dark season. Felicia, thank you so much. Really, really appreciate you. God bless you and thank you again.

Speaker 3:44:29Alright everyone.

Speaker 2:44:30You're welcome. You're welcome. Until next

Speaker 1:44:32time, I'll talk to you soon. Come join me over on the facebook page, cubicles and Christ community. Thank you for joining this episode of cubicles and Christ. Be sure to visit, be well, my for fresh, biblical inspiration and practical ideas to thrive in life. May you grow in peace, love, and soul prosperity.

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